Now, don't get me wrong. It's fun. We're doing a big Kansas City Barbeque Society-inspired contest at Meatopia, the beer-and-meat extravaganza I'm co-organizing for Governor's Island on July 11th (Buy tickets now!). but the contest is for entertainment purposes only. as anyone who has ever competed in a barbecue competition knows, the actual events are ludicrous, laughable absurdities when it comes to actually handing out the awards. The judges consist of dozens of random people, who may or may not know anything about barbecue, and whose only qualification consists of being local "celebrities," or, worse still, vulgarians who have just completed a three-hour "certification" seminar in which they were taught the difference between chicken and pork.

At least in the Kansas City Barbeque Society, there are a class of "master judges" who have actually been to great barbecues and so have a working standard of excellence; but even that august body has no consensus on what to look for. One may like his brisket fattier, another leaner; one may look for a toothsome tug in a rib, while another enjoys the decadent sensation of feeling it slip off the bone with only a virginal shudder of pleasure.

In any case, master judges are as rare as coelacanths, and the bigger the contest is, the more bloated bodies and deadened, fatigued palates are needed to keep up with the rush of ribs, brisket, chicken, and pulled pork. Meats, it should be remembered, that was so lovingly prepared and plated all night, only so it could rot in unventilated, uninsulated white containers. The judges all write down random numbers and choose a random winner, and the contestants seethe over the injustice. And they're right to seethe.

I've competed in these things, and I've judged them, and I can tell you that they are utterly bogus in terms of their ability to honor and discern the best barbecue as a meeting of the Vegan Motherhood League would be. Yes, the top teams tend to place as often as not, but that's more a testament to their consistency than to the judges not being a mindless mosh pit of prejudice and low standards. If they wanted to have a real contest, there wouldn't even be sauce involved!

That said, if you can ever get to a contest, do so. The best barbecue in America isn't served at any restaurant: it's the stuff that's slaved over like an amuse bouche at The French Laundry, rather than turned out by the half-ton and kept in warming boxes. Barbecue contests are futile for the contestants, ignominious for the judges, but for all that, a noble effort all the way around. They're the heart of barbecue today, which is why it's such a shame that they are run with all the intelligence of a strip club applause meter.

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Barbecue Frauds and Fallacies

I just purchased a barbeque and in the details portion of the packet it said that my barbeque had 50,000 btu's, I was wondering what it meant and stood for.

What does the btu stand for on barbeque grills and what does it mean?

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How To Shop For Barbeque Grill

DURHAM, N.C. -

As he approached the front of the room where servers have popped in and out of a swinging door for decades, the crowd in Bullock's Barbeque restaurant hushed to hear what he would say.

"You'll never know how much I appreciate this," Bullock said quietly as tears welled up in his eyes.

Up until Friday, the restaurant had seen a massive impact from a Salmonella scare in late April. the N.C. State Public Health Laboratory confirmed Friday that nine people who had eaten at Bullocks had infection from Salmonella enteritidis. It causes fever, abdominal cramps, and diarrhea beginning 12 to 72 hours after eating or drinking contaminated food or drink.

The illness usually lasts four to seven days; most people recover without antibiotic treatment. but once word got out that people were sick, business here dropped 80 percent.

"This is a long-standing restaurant ... 58 years in business ... never had anything less than an ‘A' health rating," said Sam Poley, who is marketing director for the Durham Convention & Visitors Bureau. "Today is an important step in helping Bullocks solve a consumer confidence problem."

Poley, along with area chefs and city leaders, started getting the word out that they wanted to rally around Bullock Friday. more than a dozen chefs showed up Friday. Dan Ferguson, the owner of the Original Q-Shack in Durham, took all his employees to eat at Bullock's. He took it a step further, too.

"Today - I closed the store from 11:00 to 2:00 because the respect I have for Tommy Bullock and the Bullock family," he told NBC-17 News. "I think it's a dang shame ... how Durham has responded over the last couple of weeks. Bullock's is an icon in Durham. They've been here forever."

Investigators at the health department have not figured out the source of the Salmonella, but a release from the Durham County Health Department said the illness is commonly associated with eggs or food items containing eggs.

"The restaurant has cooperated with DCHD officials and conducted the proper disposal of potentially affected food items," a news release read Friday. "No violations in the restaurant have been identified with respect to their food handling practices, facilities or employees."

It went on to say, in general, there are several things that are recommended to reduce the risk of getting Salmonella enteritidis infection:

• Keep eggs refrigerated.

• Discard cracked or dirty eggs.

• Wash hands and cooking utensils with soap and water after contact with raw eggs.

• Eat eggs promptly after cooking. do not keep eggs warm for more than 2 hours.

• Refrigerate unused or leftover egg- containing foods.

• Avoid eating raw eggs (as in homemade ice cream or eggnog). Commercially manufactured ice cream and eggnog are made with pasteurized eggs and have not been linked with Salmonella enteritidis infections.

• Avoid restaurant dishes made with raw or undercooked, unpasteurized eggs. Restaurants should use pasteurized eggs in any recipe (such as Hollandaise sauce or caesar salad dressing) that calls for pooling of raw eggs.

Local Chefs Help Pack Barbeque Restaurant After Salmonella Scare ...

How long will it take to barbeque an entire blue whale on a skewer type device, like they roast hogs?

Let's say it's been gutted, skinned, and some of the major bones have been removed. also most of outer blubber removed as well, so it won't catch on fire.

Could it be done? How many people could it feed?

Would it end world hunger?

How long to barbeque a blue whale?